Notes to Strangers

Reacharound

Is it wrong to enjoy a reacharound from a lovely young thing in the presence of her man?

WTF America

I bookmarked this page is the sincere hope of linking back time and time again to read through some thoroughly fucked up stuff, and there’s been hardly anything posted.

Frankly I’m dissapointed.

Also, I raped my neighbors cats before I drove drunk to work this morning.

Hello Neighbor

Dear Angry Neighbor,

We have the same commute every morning, share the same zip code, our kids are in the same school and we shop at the same stores. Why is it that every morning you drive like a complete @##$)&%. You cut me off, mouthed F-YOU as you flew-by in your BMW with your middle finger flying out of the sunroof.

You look like a mature woman, in your 40�s if not older. Although we�ve never met, I�ve seen you in our local thrift-store. You said hello like you knew me.

Do you hate me because of our political differences? You have an �Allen� sticker on your BMW and I wish to impeach the president. Is that why you hate me?
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Well neighbor, the next time you tell me to F-OFF, I�m going to F-OFF all over your lawn because today sweetheart, I saw you pull out of your driveway.

broke down

So the night you left me on the side of the road, was the last time I spoke w/ you. I wasn’t the one who picked up the drifter. I wasn’t the one who decided it was a good idea to call you’re mom. Until I met you all was fine. You have ruined my life, again. I hope by now you’ve found you’re fame in Kentucky. I will look for the ad in the paper about you. You should be more alert to the needs of other in you’re life. Hopefully it won’t take a trip to the emergency room to figure that out next time. So, this is it, give you’re dog my best. I hope you do end up having enough money for his surgery. Remember that feeling you had while flying home with me.

CHILD SUPPORT!!!

I’m pregnant, John.

Why was there Crisco next to your bed this morning?

Well if you do not remember I should probably tell you about what happened last night.

First when we went to leave the first bar, you were a bit drunk already. You insisted that we hit a strip club. Not knowing the area very well, I went along with what you and Hasin came up with. (Hasin, was the cab driver that picked us up.) 20 minutes later you, Hasin and I are sitting in the front row to a Stage. Another 5 or 6 rounds and 3 shots later, you started letting the money fly. You and Hasin were hits. (I lost Rock, paper, scissors to Hasin; so I ended up being the Designated Driver)

When Star gave you a lap dance, I noticed that her arms were twice the size of mine. You always said that you wanted to hookup with a weight lifter chick. (to each his own) Hasin seemed to have the same fetish this night, he two was getting a lap dance from a very muscular lady. I did not really dig any of the dancers last night. I did think that Sabrina was pretty cool. I have never had a dancer buy me drinks before. Every time I turned around Sabrina had another drink or shot for me.

When the club closed, Star and Zoe were told us that getting a cab sucked where we were. Hasin jumped in and told them we were in a cab and that he was going back to work now that they were closed.

So here I am driving a Cab, with you, Hasin, Star, and Zoe as passengers. I know I should not have been driving, but the rest of you were a lot worse off than I was. We were in a cab already so some how it seemed like I was taking a cab too.

On the way to drop them off, Star asked to stop by her moms house. She said she needed to pick something up. Man did her mom live in a bad neighborhood. Hasin and Zoe started hooking up in the back of the cab.

Jumping ahead… On the way to your house we ended up stopping at the Zoo, you Hasin, Star, and Zoe broke in and stole a Monkey. Some how Star and Zoe knew his name Fred. So there we are sitting on your couch. Star breaks out a big ass joint the likes of which have never been seen. I think she rolled up an ounce in that one joint.

Fred was never missed a rotation, that was the smartest monkey I have ever seen. I fell asleep on the couch only to be awakened by the sounds of a Monkey screaming, and a bunch of people yelling. A moment later Star, who told me his real name was Bob cam out of your room naked and asked if I had any lotion or lubricant. I did not have any as it was your house. So off Bob went to the kitchen and when he returned to your room he had your container of Crisco. I just shrugged and went back to sleep.

When I got up in the morning, I made some coffee and getting ready to call a cab. Everyone else got up right after I made the coffee. So Hasin dropped off Bob aka Star, John aka Zoe, Fred the Monkey and I. It turned out that John worked at the zoo, so he and Fred was on a normal partying basis.
Anyway I figured I would just let you in on the night. Oh yea, I do not want to hang out with you ever again.

yo

Norway? More like SNOREway!

Am I right?

Tired

I’m tired of being sick and tired of all of this junk you put me through. We were BEST friends. That’s not a claim I tend to use lightly. And now what, because of this naive little miss priss I’m not longer your friend, no longer important?
What about him? Yeah, him and I have each other, but he used to have you too. He had you since KINDERGARTEN. But apparently, that means nothing.
Stop ignoring things.
Stop being immature.
And know that I’m stopping.
I’m going to stop caring about it.
You don’t, so why should I?
So much for friendships that last forever.

Like none other.

I love you. I’ve loved you ever since the night you were my shoulder to cry on, since our six hour conversations began. You became my best friend, even though I constantly warned you I still had eyes for him.

You didn’t care. A thousand people tried to keep us apart. They pushed me back to him. Regardless, you fell for me as I fell for you. Every moment with you is contentment. Each kiss set us on fire. We made love on levels that would make nirvana seem like a dime-store kiddie ride, but we have told no one.

He thinks I’m the one.

But I am your twin flame, your soul mate.

We’ll all be in the same place, for nearly a week, along with our feelings and those who try to distance us from each other.

I don’t what’s going to happen. You know how important my decision is. I know you won’t really understand if I don’t end up with you, no matter what you’ve told me. You willingness to sacrifice your own happiness for mine is saint-worthy.

Stay strong, love, for yourself. I am beyond even your prayers, if I can’t accept the feelings I’ve had for you all along, even if it was against all odds. Next month will seal our fates, one way or another.

God help me.

You’re going down

You cut me off today and when I gave you the double bird as I drove by you smiled and waved! The nerve!